Review: Erotica not only to get you hot and bothered, but also to give you FEELS.

CW: References to sexual and kink things.

Me and one of my partners were on a train. I said: “I am reading this book, and it’s so so so cool”. I was a bit loud, and there were many people around us, since we were close to the doors, and the train was about to reach its next stop. It made multiple people look up to me expectantly. “Okay, sorry if this shocks ya’ll, but it’s a lesbian erotica anthology”, I said. Everyone sniggered. A lady in her 60’s said: “Well, have a lot of fun with it”, and my partner mentioned this did definitely not shock him, hehehe.

I do think I might’ve found my favourite book I’ve read in 2020 already, because it is really that amazingly good. The title: Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year Volume 4. It’s been edited by Sinclair Sexsmith who I have been following off and on for about a decade now. They write about queer sex, kink, gender, and relationships, and have a lot of experience in the world of lesbian/queer erotica, which made them an excellent choice as editor. Seeing as I have quite some overlap in interest- and identity-wise with Sinclair, it should not be surprising I found so many stories in this anthology that tickled my fancy.

So here’s what the amazon page says about the book:

A mysterious warrior at the Renaissance Faire.
An elder reunited with a lost love.
A bottom with chronic pain.
A new play party for a long-term couple.
A fantasy speed-dating night.
A dress-up doll.
A femme gangbang…

Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 has it all!

Written by a refreshing group of individuals of various genders and sexualities, this arousing anthology explores identities and stories beyond the usual lesbian erotica. A diverse group of multi-talented authors explore a myriad of erotic delights: from fruit to silk scarves to spanking to whips, from the cozy home to the leather dungeon to the wrong side of the tracks. Award-winning editor Sinclair Sexsmith has put together a collection of varied sensual textures and flavors, but they all explore what it feels like to step fully into one’s own power, and feel deeply into one’s own body.

What made it so amazing for me, was that this was erotica I could see myself in. People with bodies like mine, identities like mine, pronouns like mine. Multiple times I read a story and ended up not only aroused but with tears in my eyes. Like the story where one of the people has chronic pain, and how her partner and her navigate this. The story about the threesome where one person is a trans woman, one a cis woman and one is non-binary (if I remember this correctly). The story in which a cis women gets together with someone who is coded as non-binary (using neopronouns), in which the specific kind of genitals xy have are not even mentioned.

If you’re queer, and even slightly into kink: Go. Read. This. Buy it now, or get (or request) it at your local bookshop or library. Put it on your kindle or bedside table, and take the plunge into this lovely set of amazing erotic stories. I already gifted a copy to one of my datefriends, and she won’t be the last I’ll be gifting this book to this year.

Review: Eater of Names (#2 Guien Sequence)

The nice thing about knowing a cool someone who has their own independent publishing house (Fox Spirit Books), is that you might see a tweet asking for reviewers of a new fantasy book (Eater of Names) of one of their authors (Andrew Aston). “Oh, and it’s a sequel, so you’re getting part 1 too!”. Oh no, how horrible, I am getting two books, how will I live… /s

(WARNING: this review contains no spoilers for the Eater of Names, but some for The Hobgoblin’s Herald, since that’s what I can’t avoid reviewing a part two in a series. You’ll mostly know who survives the first book)

First I read The Hobgoblin’s Herald. I thought this was going to be a relatively straightforward fantasy novel, where a girl, Mallory, finds a hobgoblin, and gets taken under their wing, and then explores the world, of some sort. It quickly turned out to be way more, into a story of epic proportions. When I thought I had a grasp on things, new characters were introduced: knight looking for a magic sword, his wife who is being pressured by the court while he is away, a queen who has to rule while her husband the kind is absent, the Aelf (who are evil elves), and my favourite: Polder, a man who is so touched by intense trauma that he can only live in the moment and cook for people.

So book one of the Guien Sequence ends with Mallory with the hobgoblins, and Aethed, the knight, in a harbour village. There are two kings, there is war, there is magic. In Eater of Names we get new characters: rich traders, a young scribe* who joins one of the kings, and a warrior that gets rescued at sea by the aforementioned trader. The story does not get any less complex. There is political intrigue, there are guns (although they are risky to use), there are magical artefacts that might kill any that touches them. There is intense violence (so this book is not for the squeamish) and fights and death (Aston is not afraid to kill his, and also my (as a reader) darlings). I did sometimes feel the story was a bit too complex and the amount of names and places went over my head. However, I tend to prefer books that are more character driven, and this story seems more plot-driven to me, so that might be the cause of my disconnect at times.

You can get Hobgoblin’s Herald here, and Eater of Names here.

*Slight content warning here: I read this character as a trans man, and he does get misgendered a few times, which was a hard thing for me to read. Do take your own mental state into account here. However, this is only a very small part of the book :)

Review: to drink coffee with a ghost

This books takes you along with the emotions that come along when your relationship with your mother is abusive and complicated, and then she passes away. It’s about grief, about how a sister can be a saviour, how the relationship with a parent can (and most often will) resonate in (love)relationships. With beautiful drawings (all black and white, with one color accent each), and of course the amazing wordcraft of Amanda Lovelace.

I highly recommend this book. Get it when it comes out the 17th of September. I recommend all her books. Buy them, read them, feel them.

Cogs and chronometers! Steampunk ahoi!

Usually I base my choice of books on the title, the genre, the blurb. This book I purely picked because it had a mechanical fox on the cover. I also felt like an easy read, and this is a middle-grade book, so it seemed like something I’d want at this time. I requested it on Netgalley and it got approved. Hurray! Here’s the blurb:

Thirteen-year-old Lily Harman always dreamed of adventure. A strong-willed girl, Lily felt trapped in a life of Victorian stuffiness at her prim boarding school. But after her father-a famous inventor-disappears on a routine zeppelin flight, Lily’s life gets turned upside down.

Now cared for by her guardian, the heartless Madame Verdigris, Lily is quite certain that she’s being watched. Mysterious, silver-eyed men are lurking in the shadows, just waiting for their chance to strike. But what could they possibly want from her?

There are rumors, Lily learns, that her father had invented the most valuable invention ever made-a perpetual motion machine. But if he made such a miraculous discovery, he certainly never told Lily. And all he left behind is a small box-with no key, no hinges.

With the help of a clockmaker’s son, Robert, and her mechanimal fox, Malkin, Lily escapes London in search of the one person who might know something about her father’s disappearance-and what he left behind.

A mystery, adventure, and a strongwilled girl as a protagonist in a steampunk-victorian setting. Lovely! This book could have used a content warning for parental death, gries, and some torture. I was surprised how some of those things were suddenly sprung on me, especially seeing that the book is aimed at 8 tot 12 year olds. What also rubbed me the wrong way is that the gender of Lily is really strongly affirmed a few times. She goes to a girl-school (which makes sense, at that part of the story), but later on a whole paragraph is needed to explain why she wants to get a (technical) education and not just ettiquette and posture, even though she’s a girl. She says she is more of a tomboy, when she wears boy clothes. Her friend Robert even says it’s weird to see her on those clothes. He is also very taken aback when she wears a fancy dress. Just… let Lily be, do and wear what she liked without it being a /thing/. I did like there was no love/crush-subplot going on though.

The story itself is fastpaced, many twists and turns (albeit some are seen from a distance; then again I’m way older then the expected demographic), and lovely ways of using language. I especialy loved the mechanicals and mechanimals (that pun, you folx! <3), with their thematic saying like "cogs and chronometers" and "punchcards and pistons". The description of the world is vivid and descriptive: I could see the scenes play out before my eyes while reading.

The book came out in the UK in 2016, but will be published in the US at the 12th of February. So if you have a kid in your life that can handle some hard topics, and would like to nudge them towards steampunky interests, this might be right up your alley.

A deepdive into witchcraft: a review of Transformative Witchcraft: The Greater Mysteries

Through Netgalley I acquired this book on witchcraft in exchange for my honest review. I am not a witch or wiccan myself. However, I am interested in parts of paganism, despite me being quite the atheist. Since childhood, witchcraft has always had a fascination for me, so I was curious to learn more, when this book Transformative Witchcraft: The Greater Mysteries by Jason Mankey fell into my digital lap.

On Netgalley, part of the blurb was as follows:

Witchcraft is about more than seasonal rituals and pentacle necklaces; it’s meant to be a transformative path. The rites and rituals of Witchcraft are life-changing experiences, but they are also steeped in mystery. Transformative Witchcraft delves into some of the most persistent mysteries of the Craft and provides insightful guidance for raising energy with a Cone of Power; dedications, initiations, and elevations; Drawing Down the Moon; and the Great Rite.

This book mostly goes into group (or just two person) ritual. What exactly do witches mean with a cone of power? How do they create one? How do certain kinds of rituals look like? the book includes a lot of inspiration for ritual-designing, since there are many rituals completely written out from beginning (the casting of the circle) to the end (the re-opening of the circle). It goes deep into the why and how of certain things, and it gave me a insight in a world I didn’t know much about.

What I really appreciated was the conversational tone (there are personal remarks all over the place) and the continuing confirmation that all rituals and roles within them, can be done by all genders. Wicca can be amazingly stereotypical and essentialist about gender, so this was nice and refreshing. Being non-binary myself, I felt seen.

What I did find hard, which has to do with my scientific and atheist outlook on life, is that the author really, actually seems to believe in all he writes. Energy is a physical thing. The god and goddess are actually real. This is something I prefer to see metaphorically, if I engage in more pagan pursuits. I do believe his experiences and those of many others are real and genuine; except I think the cause of those experience are explained by how our brains are marvellous and amazing in letting us feel things that seem too wondrous to come from within ourselves. But, each to their own. As long as people don’t cause harm to themselves or others, I see no problems here.

Mindfulness and Yoga: yes. This book: meh :(

I should really stop requesting books from Netgalley on yoga and meditation, especially if they’re aimed at beginners. I’ve been doing meditation almost daily for about 8 years, and yoga almost daily for about 3 (and less regular in the 5 years before that). These are topics I am in no way an expert in, but reading most books does not help me much further in my practice, and sadly, this book was one like most

“The Practice of Mindful Yoga: A Connected Path to Awareness” by Hannah Moss is by no means a bad book. I’ve read the e-book version on my phone, and it’s well put together, visually. The yellow-ish pages, the stylistic picture of someone in a lotus position, the bordered exercises.

The content is also not bad. It’s quite well written, and does go back to the main sources. It does feel like it tries to say too much sometimes, for a beginners book, and not enough for a more practised practitioner. I also feel it focuses more on mindfulness then yoga, and not enough on how yoga is mindfulness . This point is mentioned, but then seems to be disregarded when she dives into mindfulness itself.

Also, it’s hard to tell people how to do yoga, without pictures. I think that’s the main lack of this book. There is a nice yoga sequence described in the end, which ties all the former exercises in the book together, but extra visual cues would have been nice.

All in all, this book is just… not it. It feels too broad to be a good book for beginners, especially seeing the lack of pictorial descriptions of the yoga-poses. And for more intermediate practitioners like myself, it’s too basic. I think one would be better of reading a good book on mindfulness (The Mindful Geek comes to mind, or Mindfulness: In the Maelstrom of Life) and go for your yoga to Youtube, for Yoga With Adriene or Sarah Beth Yoga. That’ll teach you more and better.

Get Thick. I mean it.

So, how do I describe this book, to have you all get it and read it? Probably it’s not enough if I say this might be the book that I’ll look back on in the end of 2019, and that it will have had the biggest impact on me. Maybe if I tell you that I rarely (virtually) underline sentences in books, and here I kept highlighting things. Societal analysis and critique:

How is it that we have laid bodies down in streets, challenged patriarchy in courts, bled for fair wages and still inequalities persist? The easiest answer is that racism and sexism and class warfare are resilient and necessary for global capitalism.

And beautiful imagery like:

But my soul remembers my grandmother’s memories.

On the website of the book, the following is written:

WELCOME TO THICK
A Community for Team Too Much.

A friend once told me that I was “extra.” She joined the teacher who called me “Ms. Personality,” the men who called me “thick” and a world that penalizes black women who are too much of one thing and not enough of another. Because the universe has a sense of humor, richly-layered lives generate the nuanced theories of change that we all desperately need.

THICK celebrates complex lives, nuanced ideas, and hard answers to complicated questions. And, it is a celebration because what could be better than taking up space in a world that shrinks the best of humanity to its lowest common denominator.

Take up space. It is our birthright.

‘Thick – and other essays’ consists of 8 essays by Tressie McMillan Cottom. I needed time between reading them because they were intense. Not all the same kind of intense, but reading about racism and sexism and how they all intersect, and how black women in particular are systematically pushed out of the public space of the world, is just a harsh reality to read about.

The essays “In the Name of Beauty” and “Black Girlhood, Interrupted” hit home the most. The first because of how she writes about a experience she had after writing a piece in which she calls herself ugly, that created a massive backlash, mostly from within the community of black women. She then analysis why she wrote what she wrote, using an framework of embedding beauty in capitalism, and intersecting this with race in how beauty is always white, and heteronormativity, and also touching upon the influence of social media. Woah! The other essay hit me, because reading on sexual assault (a definite content warning for that one) is always hard for me. It also shows how pervasive rape culture is, seemingly especially so within black communities. And how common it is for women to experience sexual assault in some way, shape or form. This is something I knew before reading this, but it brought this point home, again.

The book also challenged me. As a European white human, well versed in feminism, but less well versed in issues of race, I felt I lacked context sometimes. I don’t know exactly if that’s mostly because I’m white, or because I’m European. I guess it’s a combination. I guess that many people reading this, are also white and European. Don’t let this stop you, but let it encourage you to read it. Did I tell you already I love this book and that you should definitely read it?